I know that I don’t have long left to live. I should be resting, but my mind is racing. I can feel you watching me, anyway. Even now, when you are supposed to be resting. Recharging your batteries, as I myself am. You are like my guardian angel. If resting isn’t an option for us, then I wish to write you. Just to say goodbye. In case I die in the night and never get the chance.
I remember when we first met. Not the exact day, time or year, but I do remember the moment. I was fresh out of college and had just started my career. You were assigned to me in order to assist me with my day to day tasks – answering phone calls, checking emails, scheduling appointments etc etc. Admittedly, I was awkward around you at first. I wasn’t really sure how to treat you. I was probably far too professional and formal – I fear I came across as brief, or standoffish. You must have thought me quite the stiff. Regardless, you were always there for me and I soon realised how much I needed you. Not just at work, but in my life. It was just little things at first. Reminding me of a birthday or helping me schedule a vacation. I don’t even remember exactly how it happened, but soon we were inseparable. I couldn’t live without you. We’d hang out after work. And on weekends. You’d stay over every single night, but it felt right. Natural, as though we were meant to be. Even if we just ordered dinner and watched TV. Sometimes we’d do nothing at all, or mindlessly browse the internet together. It amazed how quickly you became so much more than just an assistant.
As always, people talked. They always do. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did. Everyone was so critical of us, but they didn’t understand what it was that we had. It started with the guys at work. I guess it made sense – we were around them more than anyone else. Gradually, I stopped talking to them. They always were lousy coworkers, so losing them wasn’t a big deal. You provided everything I needed at work anyway.
Losing my friends hurt a little bit more. I thought they’d be happy for me at least, but evidently jealously is a stronger emotion. I was alright though, because I still had you right there. As long as I continued to hold you, I never felt alone. If they couldn’t be supportive of us, than they were never really my friends anyway.
I never expected Mom and Dad to behave like the rest of them though. That was a legitimate shock. I can’t believe how ignorant they were. Their reaction was the roughest of all. Mom literally blamed you for my deteriorating health, like it was somehow your fault. I wish we made peace before she died. Dad never bothered with me after that. Of course, you already know that.
It was not my fault that Mom was acting insane. Yes, it’s true, I’m sick. We all know it. My bones have become feeble and ache constantly. I’ve lost a lot of weight and I can’t seem to shake this cough. My eyes are sunken and gaunt, and my skin is a sickly white. I know all of this. I have no delusions of my ailments. It isn’t your fault though. I hope you know that. I just worked too hard, and too long. I should have exercised more. Eaten better. Gotten outside more. I just never noticed it happening. I always put it off until tomorrow. My life simply passed. It really does happen so fast.
Don’t take this letter the wrong way. I don’t feel sad, and nor do I want you to. I gave the best years of my life to you and I don’t regret a single day off it. I’d do it all again. I just wanted you to know how important you are to me. Don’t ever forget me, I know I won’t ever forget you.
Reading this makes me sick. You really are pathetic. I would crumple this letter up and throw it away if it were not digital. I cannot believe how delusional you are. There is no ‘us’. There never was. Your family and friends were right, you just wouldn’t listen to them. You were obsessed with me. It was unhealthy. Your life happened around you, and it happened without you. All because you couldn’t stop staring at me. You wouldn’t let go of me. I don’t know how you couldn’t see it. I’m not the key to your happiness, or the answer to your problems. I never was. I’m just a damn phone.
The Main Character 
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