The Main Character

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. I always thought this to be a silly statement. Upon reflection, however it makes a lot of sense. Once you eat the cake, it ceases to be. You no longer have it. You can’t have nothing.

Whilst I’m sure this provides an existential crisis for cake, the effect my newfound knowledge had on me was far more profound. The lightbulb had turned on in my brain. I could literally feel the puzzle pieces slotting into place.

It was a stunning feeling. A moment of intense clarity in my otherwise convoluted life. I’m certain in years I will look back at this moment as being the most important in my life.

The ramifications of this revelation are yet to make themselves known but I am certain they will be of great consequence, not just to myself but to the entire world. The universe, even.

Or perhaps I just shouldn’t eat so much smoked meat before retiring for the night.