The Main Character

There is only one thing you can do with a degree in philosophy, and that is teach philosophy. The warning of my late parents echoed in my head. Turns out they were only half right. I can’t teach anything without a teaching degree, so I actually can’t do anything. Except philosophise, which normal people refer to as thinking.

Thinking is something I have lots of time for now that my wife left. I guess an overweight, middle aged man with no job prospects isn’t that appealing. Wasn’t Socrates just an unemployed fuckboy? Didn’t he waste his days shooting the shit with his homies? He probably invented the circle jerk. How come he will be remembered for all time but my own family can’t even spare a thought for me? If Socrates was so great, why did he agree to kill himself? If Socrates was so good how come…no matter. I digress.

The point is my wife is gone. I guess after 15 years of unemployment she finally had enough. She took the kids, the car and the house. Now I have to ride a push bike whenever I want to leave this damp, dank apartment. Not that I have anywhere to go.

You know, Nietzsche proposed that God is dead. I think God had the last laugh, because Nietzsche is most certainly dead. He lives on only in the memory of intellectual losers, such as myself. Perhaps I shall join my fallen brethren in the afterlife and we can think about things together.

I sure hope there isn’t an afterlife. Fuck Socrates.